Birds and Bees: A Comedy of Misunderstandings

My mother told my father to tell me about the birds and the bees. He took me to Coney Island, pointed to a couple making love under the boardwalk, and said, “Your mother wants you to know that the birds and the bees do the same thing.” –George Burns

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”

“Mom, I’m pregnant.”
“How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?”
“That I should take measures. That’s what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest.”

“Sex education has its own special problems,” an instructor in the field pointed out to me. “One of my students has become pregnant, and I don’t know whether to flunk her or give her extra credit.”