I don’t always whoomp.
But when I do, there it is.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I Would Like to Do It Again
My wife hasn’t spoken to me in 3 days and I have no idea what I did.
Which is fucked up, because I would like to do it again.
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Painted It Black So It Would Run Faster
I just bought a new laptop and painted it black so it would run faster…
Instead, it just stopped working and stole all my data…
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She Really Means Well
My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”
I know she really means well.
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Consumed by His Own Pride
Did you hear about the arrogant lion tamer?
He was consumed by his own pride.
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Everything Before That Was a Blur
One of my earliest childhood memories was visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.
Everything before that was a blur.
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Just Stationery
I can’t figure out why my paper airplane won’t take off…
I guess it’s just stationery.
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You’ll Get Used to It
My wife and I went to Subway for lunch. She ordered us a footlong to split. I told her 6″ wasn’t enough.
She replied, “You’ll get used to it!”
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How About Now
My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
I replied, “No.”
She responded, “How about now?”
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As Hot Today as 50 Years Ago
Old lady says to her husband, “My nipples are as hot today as they were 50 years ago.”
Her husband says, “They ought to be. One is in coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”
