Apparently, ‘Anything’ Doesn’t Include Traffic

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A guy is sitting at a bar looking dejected.

The bartender says, “What’s wrong, buddy?”

The guy says, “My wife is divorcing me.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Well,” says the guy, “my wife said, ‘If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.’”

“So?” says the bartender.

The guy sighs. “Apparently, ‘anything’ doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic.”

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Won’t be able to hide under the bed

If I ever get another cat, it’s going to be a big one, like a tiger or a panther. That way, if he ever gets upset and viciously scratches me across my face, the bastard won’t be able to hide under the bed.

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Posted: March 26, 2026 (3 months ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: communication, marriage, relationships
Sensitivity: Clean