Heavenly Rewards for Marital Honesty!

Written by

in

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is processing new entrants to heaven, but heaven is a fair distance away.

Peter asks the man at the front of the line, “How many times have you cheated on your wife?”

The man replies, “I have never cheated on my wife.”

St. Peter replies, “Okay, you get a Lamborghini,” and the man drives off toward heaven in it.

Peter asks the next man in line the same question, and the man replies, “Once, but I felt really guilty about it.”

Peter replies, “Okay, you get a Suzuki Sidekick,” and the man drives off toward heaven in it.

Peter asks the third man in line the same question, and the man replies, “Oh, it’s not even funny how many times I cheated on my wife.”

Peter replies, “Okay, you get a motor scooter,” and the man drives off toward heaven in it.

Soon, the Suzuki Sidekick driver runs into the Lamborghini driver, who’s crying while pulled over to the side of the road. He asks what’s wrong, and the Lamborghini driver replies, “I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard!”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

He gave me a blank stair

When I told my contractor that I didn’t want any carpeted steps, he just gave me a blank stair.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: March 23, 2026 (3 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: death, marriage
Sensitivity: PG-13