My girlfriend asked to do a 69.
I said, “What’s that?” She said, “Lie down and I’ll show you,” so she went to squat over my face.
As she did, she farted and jumped up and said, “Sorry,” and then tried again. She then farted a second time.
With that, I jumped up and said, “I’m fucked. I’m not hanging around for another sixty-seven of them.”
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Tip for the guys: If you’re hung like a mouse, don’t get waxed; the technician may mistake your member for an unusually tough pube.