What Her Drink Says About Her

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. She’ll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years… Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk… and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

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If you have multiple personality disorder, could one of your additional personalities

If you have multiple personality disorder, could one of your additional personalities also have their own multiple personality disorder? ‘Cause that would up the suck factor exponentially — especially if they need separate toothbrushes.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: aging, gender, nightlife
Sensitivity: Questionable