More Signs You May Have a Drinking Problem

You fall off the floor quite often.

The whole bar says ‘Hi’ when you come in…

Hangovers have become an alternative lifestyle.

Bill & Hillary Clinton are starting to make sense.

You lose most of the arguments with inanimate objects.

You have a “Reserved Parking” space at your liquor store.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You don’t recognize people unless seen through the bottom of a glass.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

You think the four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol & Women.

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

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She gave me permission

My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.

I think it was pretty cool of her to give me permission.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: daily life, drugs & alcohol
Sensitivity: PG-13