You Gotta Fax Your Ass to Corporate

This one is supposed to be a true story, told by a co-worker.

Any of you have those square electronic keys you press against a pad to open the building door? I worked at a relatively high-security building which had electronic locks. A thick plastic card pressed against the door pad unlocks the door so you can enter. Most of us guys kept the card in our back pocket and just pressed our ass against the pad to unlock the door.

A temporary worker was hired and we were surprised (and happy) to find that it was a young woman. Her first few days went by and one of us always happened to be nearby when she wanted in. I walked up one day and caught her rubbing her ass against the door pad — which didn’t unlock the door, since she didn’t have a card.

As I pressed my butt against the pad to let us both in, I told her, “You gotta fax your ass to corporate before you can get in this way.”