Top 12 Pickup Lines at the Masturbate-a-Thon (X-Rated)

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The Top 12 Pickup Lines Used at the Masturbate-a-Thon (X-rated version)

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12. “Can I interest you in a protein shake?”

11. “Hey, handsome. Would you like some coffee with that cream?”

10. “Hey, is that a cucumber in your pocket? And if so, can I borrow it for about 15 minutes?”

9. “Avoid the clam dip.”

8. “I don’t mean this to sound like a typical pick-up line, but you have beautiful labia.”

7. “Hello, Richard. My name’s Dick. Have you met my friend, Peter?”

6. “How’d you like to blow this joint?”

5. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘goo’ and ‘eye’ together.”

4. “Care to get rid of the sock and slip into something more comfortable?”

3. “Come here to come here often?”

2. “Oops — sorry about that. Consider it a compliment. Can I get you a towel?”

1. “Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? Yes? Great!”

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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates

The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.

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Posted: April 26, 2026 (2 months ago)
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Topics: relationships, sex
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