Top 15 Porn Goddess Pet Peeves

15. Recent flood of scripts with scenes involving cigars.

14. Your SAG card isn’t as impressive as it could be because it bears the name “BUSTY CHIXX.”

13. Video sales dropped 20% after Starr Report posted on the Web.

12. Wow! I can’t believe that a gorgeous adult video queen is *actually* reading one of my submissions!! I’m sorry — what was the question?

11. Inconsiderate jerk co-stars who grab the refried bean lunch special at the studio commissary.

10. Auto mechanic always over-stressing the words pump, hose, fill and lube when he works on your car.

9. Can’t enjoy a simple hot dog without thinking about work.

8. Friggin’ plumber always seems to break more than he fixes, conveniently guaranteeing himself weekly visits to the house.

7. Chauffeurs who keep asking if you want your top down.

6. Mail keeps getting misdelivered ever since you named yourself after a continent.

5. Directors who think that putting a girl on her knees on a rock-hard pool table under burning hot set lights for 5 hours straight with the ugliest partner known to man

4. Those embarrassing “Bring Your Daughter To Work Day” moments.

3. Trying to remove that piece of glued-on, strategically placed black paper after the magazine photo shoot.

2. All that pesky dialogue — was my line “yes, yes, oh baby!”, or “oh baby, yes, yes!”?

1. IRS auditors who keep demanding tangible evidence for “proof of employment.”

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
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