How to Talk About Men & Still be Politically Correct
He does not have a BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING – He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER – He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK – He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a SEX MACHINE – He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES – He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT – He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
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