If Men Rewrote The Rules

Rule # 1 – Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 – If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule # 3 – If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 4 – It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 5 – Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule # 6 – Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

Rule # 7 – You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done – not both.

Rule # 8 – Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Rule # 9 – Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 10 – Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Rule # 11 – When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.

Rule # 12 – Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.