England had made the FIFA World Cup final, but poor Nigel was absolutely gutted. Due to a spate of bad financial luck, he had to cancel his plans to travel across the pond and cheer on his countrymen in person.
While sulking on a walk, he spotted a four-leaf clover.
“Maybe my luck has turned,” he said hopefully to himself.
He picked it up, and suddenly, a little leprechaun with a bushy red beard appeared. It did a little dance and sang: “Hiya! I’m Happy McTavish, the magical leprechaun! It’s yer lucky fuckin’ day! Make yourself a wish, and I’ll grant it straight away! He-he-he!”
Nigel didn’t hesitate. “I wish to be on the pitch with England in the World Cup final!”
“DONE!”
The leprechaun snapped its fingers, and a moment later, Nigel was on the pitch. It was all he could do to not burst into tears. Then Nigel thought – Hold on. Where are my arms and legs?
Then BAM! Kicked in the face. BAM! Kicked in the face. BAM! Kicked in the face.
