Put Me Down for a Five

Written by

in

Police have been called to an apartment, and upon arrival find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes,” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did.”

The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know — put me down for a five.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

I SLURPED OUT OF A VAGINA IN A BETTER PLACE THAN YOU SLURPED OUT

I SLURPED OUT OF A VAGINA IN A BETTER PLACE THAN YOU SLURPED OUT OF A VAGINA! – patriotic people

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 18, 2026 (1 month ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: death, domestic violence, golf
Sensitivity: Dark