Cannibal Tribe and the Three Politicians

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are captured by a cannibal tribe in a dense jungle. The tribe chief gives them a final chance to save their lives:

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

“Go into the jungle and bring back ten pieces of any single fruit you can find.”

The Republican returns first with ten apples.

The chief says: “Now, if you can shove all ten apples up your ass without making any sound or expression on your face, we won’t eat you.”

The Republican manages one, but at the second apple, he winces in pain. The tribe eats him.

The Libertarian returns next with ten tiny berries.

The chief gives him the same rule.

The Libertarian gets to the ninth berry with complete silence… but suddenly, right before the tenth one, he bursts out laughing hysterically! The tribe eats him too.

In heaven, the Republican meets the Libertarian and asks: “Dude, you were so close! Why on earth did you laugh on the last berry?”

The Libertarian replies: “I couldn’t help it… I saw the Democrat coming back with ten watermelons!”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal

The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal phenomena that some people swear exist yet science has been unable to confirm. They did a show about UFOs and another about Bigfoot. Tomorrow they’re doing one on the clitoris.

Posted: August 25, 2026 (1 month ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: animals, fitness
Sensitivity: Questionable