Fred’s Annual Physical

Fred is eighty years old and has just had his annual physical. His doctor is, as always, very impressed at Fred’s level of fitness. Fred explains:

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“Ever since I was young, my faith in God has helped me with the discipline needed to keep at it. As I age, the Lord keeps guiding me in many ways. For instance, when I get up to pee at night, the Lord turns the bathroom light on, and when I’m done, the Lord turns the bathroom light off.”

After Fred leaves, the doctor is a little concerned about what may be a hallucination, so he calls Fred’s wife.

“Fred is in great shape as always, but he said one thing that concerned me. He said when he gets up to pee at night, the Lord turns the bathroom light on, and when he’s done, the Lord turns the bathroom light off. Do you know what that means?”

“Yes, it means he’s pissing in the fridge again!”

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I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked

I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked supply of tissues and a fresh, unopened bottle of hand lotion. It’s like they *know* me!

Posted: September 14, 2026 (1 week ago)
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Topics: aging, celebration, health
Sensitivity: Uncensored