Show Him Your Badge

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday.

“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs,” he said.

I replied, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The DEA officer exploded. “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!”

Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face.

“See this fucking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked, no answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely, apologized, and went back to my chores.

A short time later, I heard loud screams. I looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull.

With every step, the bull was gaining ground, and it looked like the officer would get gored before he made it to safety.

So I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

“Your badge! Show him your fucking badge!”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Weekend at Tut’s

When a pharaoh died, I bet the servants tried all sorts of tricks to make people think he was just sleeping, because of the tradition of burying the servants alive with the pharaoh to serve him in the afterlife. Kind of a whole “Weekend at Tut’s” thing.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: April 9, 2026 (4 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: communication, nature, work
Sensitivity: Questionable