The Mystery of Missing Female Keebler Elves

It’s occurred to me in the last few days, after listening to and seeing all of the Keebler commercials, just why there’s never any female elves pictured. Then it came to me: They’re all fudge-packers.

Heckle this joke

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Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

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“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga.

“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga. It’s also a pretty fair descriptor for the state of my underwear.

Posted: April 24, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: money, pop culture, sex
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