You Forgot Your Wheelchair

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A guy is having some drinks in a bar. He is having a good time so he keeps the beers coming. At some point he realizes it is getting late and the missus might get angry for him being drunk. So he wants to get off his bar stool to go home but falls flat on his face. He climbs back up, orders a coffee to sober up a little and waits 5 minutes before he tries to go home again. But, again he falls down. He must be pretty drunk. But he does not want to get in any more trouble so he crawls home. Silently undresses and slips into bed. The wife does not notice so he is happy he got away with this.

However, the next morning his wife starts yelling at him and is extremely pissed. “You were drinking again and got very drunk!” He asks why she thinks that.

“The bartender called — you forgot your wheelchair!”

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Professor Who Changed My Whole Life

In college, I took a class from a professor who changed my whole life. I can’t really remember what his name was, or what the class was, or even which college it was, but I found that if you sit behind a really tall guy and kind of slouch down in your chair you can drink Scotch right from the bottle and not get caught.

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Posted: April 29, 2026 (2 months ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: alcohol, disability, marital humor
Sensitivity: Questionable