Topic: alcohol

  • The challenge

    A man walks into a bar and sees a big barrel full to bursting with $20 bills. He orders a drink and, striking up a conversation with the bartender, gets around to asking, “what’s the deal with the big barrel of cash?”

    The bartender chuckles and says, “oh, for a $20 entry fee that can be yours. You just have to complete three tasks.”

    The man perks up and says, “what do I have to do to win?”

    The bartender says, “first, you need to do a shot of this hot sauce brewed from the hottest peppers in the world. After that, there’s a pitbull in the back. Take these pliers and pull out its rotten, sore tooth.”

    The man balks at that, but says “what’s the third thing?”

    The bartender says, “there’s an old lady who lives above the bar. Have sex with her until she’s satisfied and the money is yours.”

    The man has a few drinks and thinks about it. Finally he slaps a $20 on the bar. The bartender pours a shot from the hottest peppers sauce and the man plugs his nose and downs the shot.

    Next the man disappears and the whole bar hears the dog growling, barking and snapping. He comes staggering back into the bar, scratched and bloodied. After he catches his breath he turns to the bartender and says, “alright, where is this bitch with the bad tooth?”

  • Mormon and Irish

    A Mormon and an Irishman were seated next to each other in First Class on a flight out of NYC.

    Once the plane was airborne and the seat-belt sign was turned off, drink orders
    were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was brought to him right away and placed in front of him. Then the flight attendant asked the Mormon what he was drinking, to which the Mormon replied, “I would rather be raped by 12 wild whores
    than let demon liquor touch my lips.”

    The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Same here.
    I didn’t know we had a choice.”