Little Johnny Explains What a Gnome Is

Little Johnny raises his hand, and the teacher thinks, I’m not calling on Johnny. He’ll say something like ‘asshole.’

So she calls on Suzy, who says, “Apple.”

“Very good!” says the teacher. “Now… who can tell me a word that begins with the letter ‘B’?”

Again, Johnny raises his hand, and the teacher thinks, I’m not calling on Johnny. He’ll say ‘bastard’ or ‘bitch.’

So she calls on Stephen instead, and Stephen says, “Balloon.”

This continues until they get to the letter G.

Again, Johnny raises his hand, and the teacher says to herself, I can’t think of a swear word that starts with G.

So she calls on Johnny.

“Gnome,” says Johnny.

Very surprised, the teacher says, “That’s excellent, Johnny! It does start with G, which is silent. Johnny, do you know what a gnome is?”

“Yeah,” says Johnny. “It’s the little shit who lives in my garden and fucks fairies.”