A young priest is hearing confession

A young priest is hearing confession for the first time on a dull, damp Saturday afternoon.

He hears the church door open, and someone comes stumbling in from the rain, staggers over to the confessional, and half-falls in, yanking the door shut behind him.

Then everything is quiet for a while, and the priest hears only labored breathing and the occasional drunken mutter from the other side before it lapses into silence.

It seems like the visitor has fallen asleep, so the priest gives a discreet cough and a tap on the partition.

From the other side, a heavily refreshed voice says, “It’s no use coughing, and it’s no use knocking, sir. There’s no paper on this side either!”