Urine Test Results

The doctor tells him to take a urine test.

The man gets annoyed: “Doctor, why a urine test? My elbow hurts!”

The doctor replies: “You came here for treatment. If I said take the test, then take the test and stop arguing.”

The man goes home furious. Out of spite, he mixes together urine from his wife, daughter, mother-in-law, and cat, adds some water from the heating radiator, and even pours in some brake fluid from his car. Then he takes the whole mixture to the lab.

The next day he comes back for the results.

The doctor says: “Well, your cat is perfectly healthy, so no need to worry about her. Your heating system is fine too — no repairs needed anytime soon.

Your mother-in-law is developing a serious illness. She’ll need surgery, expensive and only available abroad.

Don’t worry about your daughter — her young, strong body, despite being thirteen, has successfully formed a fetus. It’s twins.

As for your wife — she’s had syphilis for about six months, and because of that she’s not sleeping with you. So you go jerk off in the bathroom, it’s cramped in there, you keep banging your elbow against the wall — that’s why your elbow hurts.”

The man stands up, completely stunned, and walks away.

The doctor shouts after him:

“And change your brake fluid while you’re at it — your left rear brake cylinder is leaking too!”