Worse Off Than I Am

A judge is asking a husband why he wants a divorce.

Husband, “Your honor, every so often, my wife makes me peel garlic, chop onions, and wash dishes.”

Judge, “What’s the problem? Warm the garlic first, it peels easily. Put the onion in the fridge, no tears while chopping… I do this at least once a week. Soak the dishes for 10 minutes, they’ll clean themselves. I do this almost every day.”

Husband, “Got it! Your honor, I withdraw my case.”

Judge, “Why are you withdrawing?”

Husband, “Cause apparently, you’re worse off than I am.”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

Delicate Hand-Eye Skills

I often wonder if I would be in my current profession if I hadn’t developed my delicate hand-eye skills as a child playing “Operation.” Probably not, since the boss would have fired me long ago for ruining all those keyboards because of stray peanut bits falling off of my Salted Nut Roll.

Posted: May 1, 2026 (5 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: cooking, domestic life, marital humor
Sensitivity: Clean