If I Had One of Those

A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute. He says, “How much for a hand job?” She says it’s $250. He says, “$250 for a lousy hand job? That’s crazy!” She says, “Honey, follow me,” and takes him outside.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

“See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world.” So he tries it, and it’s great. A week later he’s horny again. He goes back to the bar and asks her about a BJ.

She says it’s $500. He thinks that’s too much. She says, “Honey, come out back. See that mansion up on the hill? I bought that mansion with money from BJ’s. I do it the best.” So he takes her up on it, and it’s amazing. He’s drained for a month.

Now obsessed, he goes back. Desperately he says, “I gotta know, how much for the vagina?”

“Oh honey,” she says, “If I had one of those I’d own this town.”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

A Huge Penis

My girlfriend ran away screaming when she saw I had a huge penis.

Now the police are involved asking weird questions like “Who does it belong to?” and “Where is the rest of him?”

Posted: May 5, 2026 (5 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: adult humor, money, sex
Sensitivity: Uncensored