Quit Drinking Beer

Written by

in

I went to the doctor yesterday for a physical.

The doctor tells me, “You have to quit drinking beer.”

“Why?” I asked.

Doctor, “Because I’m trying to give you a physical right now.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.
Related chaos

More chaos like this

Related punchlines from nearby corners of the joke swamp.

Joke The Irishman and the Ten Pint Bet Joke The Medical Student’s Diagnosis Joke Only 40,000 Miles Now Joke Four Deviants in a Bar Joke Pipe Down or You’ll Get Us Both Fired Joke Little Johnny Sells Toothbrushes

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

More posts

The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you

The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you have no idea how many people have smeared a sheen of their semen on the toilet seat before you did.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 12, 2026 (1 month ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: alcohol, medical
Sensitivity: Clean