The Mugger and the Congressman

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

“Give me your money,” he demanded.

Indignant, the man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a Republican congressman!”

“In that case,” replied the robber, “Give me MY money!”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.
Related chaos

More chaos like this

Related punchlines from nearby corners of the joke swamp.

Joke Like a Newborn Baby Joke Sexual Consultant Joke My Cousin Walter’s Pet Problem Joke A Marine, a Boxer, and an MMA Fighter Walk Into a Texas Bar Joke The Rolls Royce Key Fob Trick Joke The Weekend Hunter and the Swollen Eye

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

More posts

So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection

So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection during a 4-hour threesome with two smoking hot women, are you still supposed to call a doctor? *I* did, but pretty much just to brag.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 18, 2026 (3 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: politics, social commentary, time
Sensitivity: PG-13