Pulled Over for Swerving

The police pulled me over last night and said, “Sir, do you realize how badly your car was swerving between lanes?”

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I said, “I’ve had eight drinks, officer.”

The officer replied, “Sir, that’s no excuse to let your wife drive.”

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I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me

I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.

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Posted: May 18, 2026 (3 months ago)
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Topics: alcohol, driving, marriage humor
Sensitivity: Dark