The Grocery Store Con

Written by

in

I went to the grocery store for some bread, milk, bacon, eggs, and I ended up getting a couple things that were on sale because apparently I now get excited about discounts.

The store was packed and the self checkout lane was down to one machine. Luckily there was a spot behind this little old Asian lady with a cart piled dangerously high with groceries. We started making small talk while we waited.

Out of nowhere she smiled at me and said, “You look just like my son.”

I laughed because… I’m very obviously not Asian.

She laughed too and said, “Still, it would make me very happy if you said ‘Bye Mom’ to me when I leave.”

Honestly, she reminded me of somebody’s sweet grandma, so I figured why not. It costs me nothing to be nice.

A few minutes later she finished paying, waved at me, and started heading toward the door.

So I smiled and called out, “Bye Mom!”

She turned around grinning and yelled back, “Bye son!”

A couple people in the line beside us smiled. One cashier even said, “Aww.”

Then it was my turn.

The cashier started scanning my stuff. Bread. Milk. Bacon. Eggs. A frozen pizza I absolutely did not need. Total seemed to be climbing pretty fast, but groceries are expensive now so I didn’t think much of it.

Finally the cashier looked at me and said, “Okay, your total is $487.63.”

I nearly had a heart attack.

I said, “WHAT? For this?”

The cashier looked confused and said, “Well… your mother said you’d be paying for her groceries too.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

The Ultimate Rejection

What’s the ultimate rejection?

When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 20, 2026 (1 month ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: daily life, embarrassment, misidentification
Sensitivity: Clean