The Clocks in Heaven

A man died, went to Heaven and met Jesus.

While Jesus was showing him round, the man spotted a broken clock.

“What’s that, then?” he asked.

Jesus said, “That’s Mother Teresa’s clock. It has never moved because she has never lied.”

“Just over here is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. He lied twice, so it has moved twice.”

“Where is Donald Trump’s clock?” asked the man.

Jesus smiled. “It’s in my office, I’m using it as a ceiling fan.”

Heckle this joke

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He’s a web designer

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer.

Posted: May 29, 2026 (4 months ago)
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Topics: afterlife, celebrity, moral judgment
Sensitivity: PG-13