Putin’s Driver and the Pig

Vladimir Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly.

Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled.

“What happened to you?” asked Putin.

“Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19 year old and 21 year old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously.”

“My God, what did you tell them?” asks Putin.

The driver replies, “I’m president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”

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You don’t get any bigger than that

If I could be any concept, I would be infinity, ’cause man, you don’t get any bigger than that!

Posted: May 31, 2026 (4 months ago)
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Topics: absurdist, celebrity, politics
Sensitivity: PG-13