Like a Newborn Baby

Two retired cops sit on a park bench watching the world go by.

“You know, Tom,” one sighs, “my health is declining. My legs hurt when I stand, my back hurts when I sit, and my arms hurt when I reach for things. I feel like I’m falling apart! How are you feeling these days?”

The second guy smiles broadly and says, “Honestly? I feel like a newborn baby!”

“Really?!” the first guy gasps. “A newborn baby? How do you manage that?”

“Well,” he grunts, “I have no hair, I have no teeth, and I just wet my pants!”