A Free and Independent Nation

An American man gets married to a British woman…

Before the big night, his father tells him:

“Tonight, I want you to carry your wife in your arms to show her that the US is a strong nation.

Then I want you to throw her on the bed to show her that the US is a proud nation.

And finally I want you to take off your clothes to show her that the US is a beautiful nation.”

After the big night, the father asks his son, “So how was it?”

Son: “Well, I carried her in my arms to show her that the US is a strong nation.”

Father: “Good!”

Son: “Then I threw her on the bed to show her that the US is a proud nation.”

Father: “Yeah!”

Son: “And then I took off my clothes to show her that the US is a beautiful nation.”

Father: “Very good! And then what did you do?”

Son: “I jacked off in front of her.”

Father: “What? Why would you do that for?”

Son: “To show her that the US is a free and independent nation!”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

I cover up the offensive vowels when I use words like “shit” and

I cover up the offensive vowels when I use words like “shit” and “fuck.” It’s kind of like putting a bikini over the word’s hairy little cunt.

Posted: May 15, 2026 (4 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: cultural differences, international humor, marital humor
Sensitivity: Questionable