’Cause You’re Ugly

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a two-pound can of coffee, and a one-pound package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

He said, “You must be single.”

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her six items on the belt.

Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “’Cause you’re ugly.”

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I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles,

I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles, capable of suffocating and devouring large prey, yet burdened with a tiny brain. Occasionally it can be healthy for me to get in touch with my inner pro wrestler.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: daily life, nightlife, relationships
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