He Would Never Use Your Golf Clubs

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch when the husband looks over and says, “Honey, if I died, would you get remarried?”

The wife thinks about it and says, “Well, we have a beautiful house, and I don’t want to be alone, so… yes, I probably would.”

The husband looks a bit hurt. “Would you let him live in our house?”

“It’s a great house, and it’s paid off, so yes, we’d live here.”

“Would he sleep in our bed?”

“It’s a brand-new mattress, so yes, he probably would.”

“Would he use my golf clubs?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” the wife snaps. “He’s left-handed.”

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I tell people to have a nice fucking day, unless they’re one of

I tell people to have a nice fucking day, unless they’re one of my pornstar friends. Then I like to tell them to have a nice day fucking.

Posted: June 14, 2026 (3 months ago)
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Topics: marriage
Sensitivity: PG-13