Location-Based Orgasms: A Punny Guide

Situations you may find yourself in, and the orgasms you may encounter…

Sex in a boat – oar-gasms.

Sex with a nerd – dork-gasms.

Sex at the entrance to your house – door-gasms.

Sex on carpet or linoleum – floor-gasms.

Sex at the supermarket – store-gasms.

Sex at a Steven King Movie – horror-gasms.

Sex with a prostitute – whore-gasms.

Sex with an accountant – bore-gasms.

Sex while sleeping – snore-gasms.

Sex with ‘Arthur’ – Dudley Moore-gasms.

Sex with cartoon donkeys – Eyeore-gasms.

Sex while broke – poor-gasms.

Sex with a lion – roar-gasms.

Sex for hours and hours on end – sore-gasms.

Sex on a golf course – fore-gasms.

Sex with a nymphomaniac (or Ritzi) – more-gasms.

Sex in a gold mine – ore-gasms.

Sex with a dermatologist – pore-gasms.

Sex with a politician – Al Gore-gasms.

Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers – s’more-gasms.

Sex with a bullfighter – toreador-gasms.

Sex with a masked man carrying a sword – zorro-gasms.

Sex on the beach – shore-gasms.

Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet – smorgasbord-gasms.

Sex on a cruise ship deck – shuffleboard-gasms.

Sex in asia – Singapore-gasms.

Sex among the wonders of nature – outdoor-gasms.

Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can – odor-gasms.

Sex on the way to the train – ‘All Aboard’-gasms.

Sex that wasn’t very satisfying – ‘There’s the door’-gasms.

Sex in an adult theater – hard-core-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s not paying attention – ignore-gasms.

Sex with a competitive partner – score-gasms.

Sex while flying – soar-gasms.

Sex with a beloved partner – adore-gasms.

Sex with a meat-eater – carnivore-gasms.

Sex with a person who’s got a really bad hairdo – pompadore-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s got bad taste in clothes – velour-gasms.

Sex while travelling – tour-gasms.

Sex with a big dog – labrador-gasms.

Sex with Beavis and Butthead – ‘GonnaScore’-gasms.

Sex on stairs at the mall – escalator-gasms.

Sex with three of your friends – four-gasms.

Sex with a norse God – Thor-gasms.

Sex when resistance is futile – Borg-gasms.