Location-Based Orgasms: A Punny Guide

Situations you may find yourself in, and the orgasms you may encounter…

Sex in a boat – oar-gasms.

Sex with a nerd – dork-gasms.

Sex at the entrance to your house – door-gasms.

Sex on carpet or linoleum – floor-gasms.

Sex at the supermarket – store-gasms.

Sex at a Steven King Movie – horror-gasms.

Sex with a prostitute – whore-gasms.

Sex with an accountant – bore-gasms.

Sex while sleeping – snore-gasms.

Sex with ‘Arthur’ – Dudley Moore-gasms.

Sex with cartoon donkeys – Eyeore-gasms.

Sex while broke – poor-gasms.

Sex with a lion – roar-gasms.

Sex for hours and hours on end – sore-gasms.

Sex on a golf course – fore-gasms.

Sex with a nymphomaniac (or Ritzi) – more-gasms.

Sex in a gold mine – ore-gasms.

Sex with a dermatologist – pore-gasms.

Sex with a politician – Al Gore-gasms.

Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers – s’more-gasms.

Sex with a bullfighter – toreador-gasms.

Sex with a masked man carrying a sword – zorro-gasms.

Sex on the beach – shore-gasms.

Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet – smorgasbord-gasms.

Sex on a cruise ship deck – shuffleboard-gasms.

Sex in asia – Singapore-gasms.

Sex among the wonders of nature – outdoor-gasms.

Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can – odor-gasms.

Sex on the way to the train – ‘All Aboard’-gasms.

Sex that wasn’t very satisfying – ‘There’s the door’-gasms.

Sex in an adult theater – hard-core-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s not paying attention – ignore-gasms.

Sex with a competitive partner – score-gasms.

Sex while flying – soar-gasms.

Sex with a beloved partner – adore-gasms.

Sex with a meat-eater – carnivore-gasms.

Sex with a person who’s got a really bad hairdo – pompadore-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s got bad taste in clothes – velour-gasms.

Sex while travelling – tour-gasms.

Sex with a big dog – labrador-gasms.

Sex with Beavis and Butthead – ‘GonnaScore’-gasms.

Sex on stairs at the mall – escalator-gasms.

Sex with three of your friends – four-gasms.

Sex with a norse God – Thor-gasms.

Sex when resistance is futile – Borg-gasms.

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Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!”

Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!” Well, duh. How do you think we careened off the guardrail and into oncoming traffic in the first place?

Posted: April 24, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: pop culture, relationships, sex
Sensitivity: Uncensored