No Fuckin Chocolate

A customer walks into an ice cream shop and asks for a pint of chocolate ice cream.

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The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, may I get you a different flavor?”

The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a quart of chocolate ice cream.

The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, we have no chocolate ice cream. Is there a different flavor that I can offer you?”

The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a half gallon of chocolate ice cream.

The worker’s jaw drops and they reflect on this for a moment, then ask the customer, “Can you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla?”

“What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla.”

Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… V-A-N. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”

“What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”

Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… S-T-R-A-W. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘fuck’ in chocolate.”

The customer thinks for a moment and exclaims, “There is no ‘fuck’ in chocolate!”

The worker replies, “Correct! That is what I have been trying to tell you — there is no fuckin’ chocolate.”

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On the One Hand But On the Other

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

Posted: June 28, 2026 (3 months ago)
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Topics: business
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