Russian Condom Crisis Gets American Solution

Gorbachev called Clinton with an emergency: “Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried. “My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”

“Mikhael, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,” replied the President.

“I do need your help,” said Gorbachev. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?”

“Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!” said Clinton.

“Oh, and one more small favor, please?”

“Yes?” “Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?”

“No problem,” replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan.

“I need a favor, you’ve got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.”

“Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.

“Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10″ long and 4″ wide.”

“Easily done. Anything else?”

“Yeah,” said the President, “print ‘MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”

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Right Up There

Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!

Posted: April 22, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: politics, sex
Sensitivity: PG-13