Satan Meets His Match in Church

A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

“Don’t you realize I can kill you with a word?” asked Satan.

“Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man, in an even tone.

“Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY… for all eternity?” persisted Satan.

“Yep,” was the calm reply.

“And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan.

“Nope.”

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?!”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for the last 48 years.”

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We live in a dangerous world, and I guess we all will have to adjust to the idea of

We live in a dangerous world, and I guess we all will have to adjust to the idea of giving up some freedoms and dealing with a heightened level of security. Well, at least according to that Dunkin’ Donuts cashier who strip-searched my wife this morning, we do.

Posted: May 19, 2026 (4 months ago)
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Topics: domestic life, marriage humor, religious humor
Sensitivity: Clean