The Little Old Lady and the Two Garbage Bags

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A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags rips, and every so often a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

A policeman notices and stops her.

“Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.”

“Oh really? Darn,” says the little old lady. “I’d better go back and pick them up. Thanks for telling me.”

“Hold on a second,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh no,” she says. “You see, my backyard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, fans come and… relieve themselves through the fence into my flower garden.”

“So I stand behind the fence with hedge clippers. Each time someone does it, I say: $20, or off it comes.”

The cop laughs. “Well, that seems fair enough. Good luck, ma’am. By the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well, you know,” says the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”

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I’ve been saving up all my picked-off scabs in little bags, just in case the local blood bank needs some Folgers crystals.

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Posted: June 6, 2026 (2 weeks ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: animals, elderly
Sensitivity: Questionable