Three men on death row

There were three men on death row: a German, an Italian, and an Irishman.

The warden gave them a choice of how they wanted to die:

• Be shot
• Be hanged
• Be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow, painful death

The German stepped up first.
“Shoot me right in the head.”

Boom. Instant.

The Italian went next.
“Just hang me.”

Snap. Done.

Then it was the Irishman’s turn.

“I’ll take some of that AIDS stuff.”

They gave him the injection.

He collapsed on the floor… laughing.

The guards looked at each other. What was wrong with this guy?

Through tears of laughter he said, “Give me another one of those shots!”

They shrugged and gave him another.

Now he’s howling, doubled over, can barely breathe from laughing.

Finally, the warden snapped, “What is wrong with you?!”

The Irishman wheezed, “You idiots… I’m wearing a condom!”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

Deluxe Magic Hat

My wife thinks that TV is a big waste of time, but I just learned something that’s sure to change her mind: When buying a magic hat for the kid’s snowman, spring for the deluxe version that keeps the snowman from melting when the temperature goes above freezing.

Posted: February 20, 2026 (7 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: death, health, law & crime
Sensitivity: Dark