15. Every time you have to hit the john, you find yourself asking a friend to come along.
14. Warning label states: “Caution: May make ass look fat.”
13. After a few, you find yourself arguing that figure skating actually is a sport.
12. Your belches come out potpourri-scented.
11. You still cry into your eighth one, but now it’s because the guy on the next stool is wearing the same outfit.
10. The slogan: “Get that bloated feeling any day of the month!”
9. The label boasts that it’s this month’s recommendation from Oprah’s Beer Club.
8. Your desire to wear women’s panties is stronger than usual.
7. When you squat to pee in the sink, you notice a fresh floral scent.
6. After you’ve slammed a few, you find yourself at Blockbuster trying to decide between “Sleepless in Seattle” and “Waiting to Exhale.”
5. Regis Philbin gets funnier with every sip!
4. The can has a picture of a shirtless Fabio on the front and a bundt cake recipe on the back.
3. “Who cares about the game? Will & Grace is on!”
2. There’s no head unless you pour some liquor into it.
1. Your man-boobs have started lactating.
The Top 5 List — www.topfive.com
Copyright 2003 by Chris White
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