Topic: humor

  • Firefighter or Photographer? The Great Mix-Up!

    A photographer for a prominent national news magazine was assigned to get photos of a humongous forest fire.

    Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. His editor made the arrangements and assured him the plane would be started and waiting for him at the airport.

    As soon as he got to the small rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

    The pilot turned the plane into the wind, and soon they were in the air.

    “Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low-level passes.”

    “Why?” asked the pilot.

    “Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

    After a long pause, the pilot said, “Wait, you mean you’re not the instructor?”

  • Papal Pizza Plans: A Slice of Home

    With the first anniversary of the new pope approaching, Vatican staff were preparing a banquet and reviewing the menu with Leo.

    After a few minutes, Leo started looking distracted. When asked what was wrong, he said, “The food here at the Vatican is amazing, but I really miss good old Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. I would like you to serve that at my anniversary banquet.”

    Not having had any experience with it, they nevertheless agreed. Since there is no pizza oven in the Vatican, their kitchen staff went to a local pizzeria to use theirs. After a couple days of experimenting, they served Leo their first attempt at deep-dish pizza for lunch.

    “Yuck,” he said. “I don’t know what this is, but it’s certainly not deep-dish pizza!”

    For the next month, a couple of times a week, the Vatican chefs prepared another attempt, and each one was met with a similar reaction. With the banquet only two days away, Leo finally said, “I’ve had enough! You obviously aren’t able to figure this out on your own, so take me down to the pizzeria and I’ll show you how to make a deep-dish pizza.”

    So the pope went to the pizzeria and into the kitchen, and soon flour and sauce were flying everywhere. A local reporter stopped by to get lunch, gaped in surprise, and immediately got on the phone with her editor.

    “Are you aware of some VIP visiting Rome today?” she asked.

    He replied, “No—I haven’t heard anything. What’s up?”

    She said, “I don’t know for sure, but it must be someone really important: the pope is baking a pizza for him!”

  • Stringing Together a Hilarious Defense!

    A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.

    The judge looks down at her and asks, “First offender?”

    The woman replies, “nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender.”