I regret that I have but one life to give towards avoidance of military duty.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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No matter how much joy juice Bob drank at the company party, he couldn’t crack a smile,
No matter how much joy juice Bob drank at the company party, he couldn’t crack a smile, even once, because he had a secret: Bob was laughtose intolerant.
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I always felt those Farm Aid concerts were an awesome idea because I know first-hand how
I always felt those Farm Aid concerts were an awesome idea because I know first-hand how tough it is being a small farmer these days — especially when the DEA keeps burning your crop before you can harvest.
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If you can stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you can’t do?
If you can stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you can’t do? On the other hand, if you’re willing to stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you *won’t* do?
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My grandmother taught my mother how to drive, and she, in turn, taught me.
My grandmother taught my mother how to drive, and she, in turn, taught me. Luckily, my mother didn’t also pass down the knowledge of how to get pregnant in the back seat, because some family traditions should just fade away.
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My big fantasy is being a pizza delivery boy making a delivery to a mansion where a porn
My big fantasy is being a pizza delivery boy making a delivery to a mansion where a porn film is being shot and arriving at the location at precisely the same moment as the actor playing the role of the pizza-delivery boy.
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Just as I was about to slip some more company pens and note pads into my pocket, that
Just as I was about to slip some more company pens and note pads into my pocket, that small inner voice stopped me, saying, “Jerry, don’t do that. It’s wrong.” Then it added, “Why don’t you kill everybody here instead?”
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Those bastards at the dating service rejected my application because the three
Those bastards at the dating service rejected my application because the three adjectives I chose to describe myself were “intense,” “trigger-happy” and “loner.” Oh, wait… silly me: “Loner” is a noun! Well, *that* explains it.
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People are often taken aback when I, a man, describe myself as having a girlish figure.
People are often taken aback when I, a man, describe myself as having a girlish figure. Hey, with my man-boobs and huge belly, I look just like my eight-months pregnant neighbor.
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When it comes down to it, it’s the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile.
When it comes down to it, it’s the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile.
