If Dr. Seuss Wrote About Computer Users

Tech: “I think I know from where your problems stem. Would you, could you, RTFM?”

User: “I would not, could not RTFM. I want you to solve my problem.”

Tech: “Could you read the docs online? Would you read them any time?”

User: “I would not read the docs online. Without them I can do just fine.”

Tech: “Would you read a FAQ or HOWTO? Is this something you could do?”

User: “I could not read a FAQ or HOWTO. Even the thought makes me spew.”

Tech: “What could I suggest next? Would you read it in hypertext?”

User: “I would not read help in hypertext, for the problem with which I am vexed.”

Tech: “How about if you could read it through a conveniently placed system menu?”

User: “I will not access help from a menu. That stuff is a bunch of ballyhoo!”

Tech: “How much simpler could this be? Did you try the help hotkey?”

User: “I’ll try not a help hotkey, to that I will never agree!”

User: “I would not, could not RTFM. I want you to solve my problem!”

Tech: “Since you will not RTFM, you I must now condemn”

Tech: “To a life without working software, and a constant feeling of despair.”

Tech: “You should read a book by Dr. Seuss, or maybe something by Mother Goose.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

— I don’t know what came over me

— I don’t know what came over me.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (4 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: frustration, technology, work
Sensitivity: Clean