Computer Safety: A Gentleman’s Guide

1. It is unsafe to lick your monitor while it is ON.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
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2. The orifices in the back of your monitor are NOT intended for participation in the LIVE sex shows.

3. The fan in your computer’s power supply is not a good place to cool your “heat of passion” (although, it would certainly be an enlightening experience).

4. Be prepared to replace your keyboard often if you enjoy “tickling the keys” with your manhood.

5. Semen IS electrically conductive!

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When my parents get too old to take care of themselves, screw the nursing home — I’m

When my parents get too old to take care of themselves, screw the nursing home — I’m going to plant 2 kilos of coke on them and call the DEA. That should get them 20 years of free care.

Posted: April 24, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: sex, technology, work
Sensitivity: Uncensored