The Top 12 Pickup Lines Used at the Masturbate-a-Thon
12. “Doesn’t it seem strange to be doing this? I mean, without a keyboard in front of you?”
11. “So, I hear you’re looking for a colossal jerk.”
10. “Excuse me — I could use a hand over here.”
9. “Doubles, anyone?”
8. “So what time do you get off?”
7. “This reminds me of Hands Across America. Only slimier.”
6. “Are you finished with that?”
5. “Good choice! The SuperSchlong 6000 was a Consumer Reports Best Buy.”
4. “This is just a microcosm of life… oh, sorry about that — I’m waxing philosophical.”
3. “Hello, handsome! I will be your father figure….”
2. “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”
1. “Can you help me out? I’m blind — and extremely confused right now.”
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