Top 14 Dream Wrestling Matches

The Top 14 Dream Wrestling Matches

14. Michael “The Glove” Jackson -vs- George “The Hand” Michael

13. Bob “Hacksaw” Villa -vs- Martha “Doily Queen” Stewart

12. “The First Lady” -vs- “The Most Recent Lady”

11. Edward Scissorhands -vs- John Bobbit

10. Carrot Top -vs- Bugs Bunny

9. Drescher -vs- Gottfried — in a Zero-Contact Whine-a-thon Death Cage Match!

8. Arnold Schwarzenegger -vs- The English Language

7. Pat “Captain Vanilla” Sajak -vs- Alex “Oh, I’m Sorry” Trebek

6. Bill “The Adulterer” Clinton -vs- Bill “The Atoner” Clinton

5. Monica “Hummer” Lewinsky -vs- Orrin “We Still Call it Sodomy in This State” Hatch

4. The Norelco Santa -vs- The Mach3 Studmuffin

3. Vanilla Ice -vs- The Crips

2. Ron “McBigfoot” McDonald -vs- Colonel “Open A Can o’ Whup-Ass” Sanders

1. The predominately female and nearly naked “Baywatch” cast -vs- The predominately male and socially awkward Top5 contributors

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ]

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Probably something involving bees

If hell is having to watch your worst decisions over and over forever, I really hope they give you a better judgment system than you had when you made those decisions. If they don’t, they’ll have to sit and explain to you why you were wrong. And chances are they still won’t get through to you. Then they’ll have to think up some new punishment. Probably something involving bees.

Posted: April 26, 2026 (5 months ago)
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