Would You Mind Getting Off Me

A woman asks her husband at breakfast, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”

He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”

He declines. “The Viagra,” he says. “It’s really spoiled my need for food.”

At dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy rib-eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir-fry?” He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra. I’m still not hungry.”

“Well,” she says, “would you mind getting off me? I’m starving.”

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I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to

I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.

Posted: May 2, 2026 (5 months ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: drugs & alcohol, marital humor, sex
Sensitivity: PG-13