Retirement Benefits Without ID

Written by

in

Yesterday, I went to apply for retirement benefits but forgot my wallet. The clerk said, “Just unbutton your shirt.”

I showed my gray chest hair. She said, “That’ll do,” and processed everything.

When I told my wife, she said, “You should’ve dropped your pants, maybe you’d qualify for disability too.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

We don’t want any kids

My wife and I have decided we don’t want any kids.

We’re going to tell them in the morning.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 6, 2026 (2 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: aging, bureaucracy, marital humor
Sensitivity: Clean